HUMBUG      

     Two boys once thought to play a trick on Charles Darwin.  Thy took the body of a centipede, the wings of a butterfly, the legs of a grasshopper and the head of a beetle, and glued these together to form a weird monster.  With the composite creature in a box, they visited Darwin.

     "Please, sir, will you tell us what sort of a bug this is?" the spokesman asked.

     The naturalist gave a short glance at the exhibit and a long glance at the boys.

     "Did it hum?" he inquired solemnly.

     "The boys replied enthusiastically, in one voice:

     "Oh, yes, sir."

     "Well, then," Darwin declared, "it is a humbug."

HUMIDITY

     The little boy had been warned repeatedly against playing on the lawn when it was damp.  Saturday evening, his father heard him recite a Scripture verse learned for the Sunday school.

     " 'Put off  thy shoes from they feet, for the ground whereon thou standest is-----' " He halted at a loss.

     "Is what, my boy?" asked the father.

     "Is damp."

HUMILITY

     The slow suitor asked:

     "Elizabeth, would you like to have a puppy?"

     "Oh, Edward," the girl gushed, "how delightfully humble of you.  Yes, dearest, I accept."

HUNGER

     "That woman never turns away a hungry man."

     "Ah, genuinely charitable!"

     "Hardly that.  She says, 'Are you  so hungry you  want to saw some wood for a dinner?' And the answer is, 'No.' "

HUNTING

     An amateur sportsman spent the day with dog and gun, but brought home no game.  A friend twitted him with his failure:

     "Didn't you shoot anything at all?"

     The honest fellow nodded miserably.

     "I shot my dog."

     "Why?" his questioner demanded.  "Was he mad?"

     The sportsman shook his head doubtfully.

     "Not exactly mad," he asserted; "and not so darned tickled neither!"