HEREAFTER
This is the
dialogue between a little girl and a little boy:
"What are
you bawling about, Jimmie?"
"I'm cryin'
because maw has wented to heaven."
"That's
silly. Maybe she hain't."
*
* *
Little Alice
questioned her mother concerning heaven, and seemed pleased to be assured that
she would have wings and harp and crown.
"And candy, too,
mamma?"
The mother shook her
head.
"Anyhow," Alice declared, "I'm tickled we have such a fine
doctor."
HEREDITY
The woman, who
had a turn-up nose and was somewhat self-conscious concerning it, bought a new
pug dog , and petted it so fondly as to excite the jealousy of her little
daughter.
"How do you
like your new little brother?" she asked the child teasingly.
The girl replied,
rather maliciously, perhaps:
"He looks
just like his muvver."
HIGH PRICES
Two men were
talking together in the Public Library. One of them said:
"The dime
novel has gone. I wonder where it's gone to?"
The other, who
knew something of literature in its various phases, answered cynically:
"It's gone
up to a dollar and ninety cents."
HINDSIGHT
Mike, the hod-carrier, was still somewhat fuddled when he arose Monday morning,
with the result that he put on his overalls wrong side to; with the further result,
that he was careless while mounting the ladder later with a load of bricks, and
fell to the ground. As he raised himself into a sitting position, a fellow
workman asked solicitously:
"Are yez kilt intoirly, Mike?"
Mike, with drooping head, stared down dully at the seat of his overalls, and
shook his head.
"No," he declared in a tone of awe, "I'm not kilt, but I'm
terribly twisted."
*
* *
A
rustic visitor to the city made a desperate run for the ferry boat as it was
leaving the slip. He He made a mighty leap, and covered the intervening
space, then fell sprawling to the deck, where he lay stunned for about two
minutes. At last he sat up feebly, and stared dazedly over the wide
expanse of water between boat and shore.
"Holy hop-toads! he exclaimed in a tone of profound awe. "What a
jump!"
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