EVIDENCE
The smug
satisfaction of the rustic in his clear perception and shrewd reasoning is
illustrated by the dialogue between two farmers meeting on the road.
"Did you
hear that old man Jones's house burned down last night?"
"I ain't a
mite surprised. I was goin' past there in the the evenin', an when I saw
the smoke a-comin' out all round under the eaves, I sez to myself, sez I, 'Where
there's smoke there must be fire.' An' so it was!"
*
* *
"Shall I leave the hall light burning, ma'am?" the servant asked.
"No," her mistress replied. I think my husband won't get home
until daylight. He kissed me goodbye before he went, and gave me twenty
dollars for a new hat."
EXPECTANCY
An
Irishman on a scaffolding four stories high heard the noon whistle. But
when he would have descended, the found that the ladder had been removed.
One of his fellow workment on the pavement below, to whom he called, explained
that the foreman had carried off the ladder for another job.
"But how'll I get down?" Pat demanded.
Mike, on the pavement, suggested jumping as the only means. Pat's lunch
was below, he was hungry, and he accepted teh suggestion seriously.
"Will yez kitch me?" he demanded.
"Sure, an' I'll do that," Mike agreed.
Pat
clapped his arms in imitation of a rooster, and crowed, to bolster up his
courage, and leaped. He regained consciousness after a short interval, and
feebly sat up on the pavement. He regarded Mike reproachfully.
"For why did yez not kitch me?" he asked, and the pain in bones
sounded in his voice.
"Begorry," Mike replied sympathetically, I was waiting for yez to
bounce!"
EXPENSE ACCOUNT
The
woman wrote a reference for her discharged cook as follows:
"Maggie Flynn has been employed by me for a month. She is an
excellent cook, but I could not afford to make use of her services longer."
The
husband who was present, afterward expressed his surprise at the final clause.
"But it's true," the wife answered. "The dishes she smashed
cost double her wages."
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