ECONOMY
One Japanese
bragged to another that he made a fan last twenty years by opening only a fourth
section, and using this for five years, then the next section, and so on.
The other
Japanese registered scorn.
"Wasteful!" he ejaculated. "I was better taught. I
make a fan last a lifetime. I open it wide, and hold it under my nose
quite motionless. Then I wave my head."
* * *
Wife:
-- "Women are not extravagant. A woman can dress smartly on a
sum that would keep a man looking shabby."
Husband: --
"That's right. What you dress on keeps me looking shabby."
EFFICIENCY
In these days of
difficulty in securing domestic servants, mistresses will accept almost any sort
of help, but there are limits. A woman interrogated a husky girl in
an employment office, who was a recent importation from Lapland. The
dialog was as follows:
"Can you do
fancy cooking?"
"Naw."
"Can you do
plain cooking?"
"Naw."
"Can you
sew?"
"Naw."
"Can you do
general housework?"
"Naw."
"Make the
beds, wash the dishes?"
"Naw."
"Well,"
cried the woman in puzzled expasteration, "waht can you do?"
"I milk
reindeer."
* * *
The undertaker
regarded the deceased in the coffin with severe disapproval, for the wig
persisted in slipping back and revealing a perfectly bald pate. He
addressed the widow in that cheerfully melancholy tone which is characteristic
of undertakers during their professional public performance.
"Have you
any glue?"
The widow wiped
her eyes perfunctorily, and said that she had.
"Shall I
heat it?" she asked. The undertaker nodded gloomily, and the relic
departed on her errand. Presently, she returned with the glue-pot.
But the
undertaker shook his head, and regarded her with the gently sad smile to which
undertakers are addicted, as he whispered solemnly:
"I found a tack."
* * *
An engineer, who
was engaged on railroad construction in Central America, explained to one of the
natives living alongside the right of way the advantages that would come from
realization of the projected line. To illustrate his point, he put the
question:
"How long
does it take you to carry your produce to market by muleback?"
"Three days,
seņor ," was the answer.
"Then,"
said the engineer, "you can understand the benefit the road will be to
you. You will be able to take your produce to market, and to return home
on the same day."
"Very good, seņor,"
the native agreed courteously. "But seņor, what shall we do
with the other two days?"
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