DOCTORS

     A victim of chronic bronchitis called on a well-known physician to be examined.  The doctor, after careful questioning, assured the patient that the ailment  would respond readily to treatment.

     "You're so sure," the sufferer inquired, "I suppose you must have had a great deal of experience with this disease."

     The physician smiled wisely, and answered in a most confidential manner:

     "Why, my dear sir, I've had bronchitis myself for more than fifteen years."

*  *  *

     A member of the faculty in a London medical college was appointed an honorary physician to the king.  He proudly wrote a notice on the blackboard in his classroom:

     "Professor Jennings informs his students that he has been appointed honorary physician to His Majesty, King George."  

     When he returned to the class-room in the afternoon he found written below his notice this line: 

     "God save the King."

*  *  *

     The instructor in the Medical College exhibited a diagram.

     "The subject here limps," he explained, "because one leg is shorter than the other."  He addressed one of the students:

     "Now, Mr. Snead, what would you do in such a case?"

     Young Snead pondered earnestly and replied with conviction:

     "I fancy, sir, that I should limp, too."

*  *  *

     The physician turned from the telephone to his wife:

     "I must hurry to Mrs. Jones' boy --  he's sick."

     "Is it serious?"

     "Yes.  I don't know what's the matter with him, but she has a book on what to do before the doctor comes.  So I must hurry.  Whatever it is, she mustn't do it."

DOCTRINE

     In a former generation, when elaborate doctrines were deemed more important by Christian clergymen than they are to-day, they were prone to apply every utterance of the Bible to the demonstration of their own particular tenets.  For example, one distinguished minister announced his text and introduced his sermon as follows:

     " 'So, Mephibosheth dwelt in Jerusalem, for he did eat at the King's table, and he was lame on both his feet.'

     "My brethren, we are here taught the doctrine of human depravity.  -- Mephibosheth was lame.  Also the doctrine of total depravity -- he was lame on both his feet.  Also the doctrine of justification -- for he dwelt in Jerusalem.  Fourth, the doctrine of adoption -- 'he did eat at  the King's table.'  Fifth, the doctrine of the perseverance of the saints -- for we read that 'he did eat at the King's table continually.' "