The young members of the family had been taught to be punctilious in contributing to the collection at church.  One Sunday morning, when the boxes were being passed, James, ages six, ran his eye over those in the pew, and noticed that a guest of his sister had no coin in her hand.

     "Where is your money?"  he whispered.    She answered that she hadn't any.  But James was equal to the emergency:

     "Here, take mine," he directed.  "That'll pay for you.  I'll get under the seat."

     Which he did.

CLEANLINESS

     The little boy was clad in an immaculate white suit for the lawn party, and his mother cautioned him strictly against soiling it.  He was scrupulous in his obedience, but at last he approached her timidly, and said:

     "Please mother, may I sit on my pants?"

*  *  *

     The mother catechised her young son just before the hour for the arrival of the music teacher.

     "Have you washed your hands very carefully?"

     "Yes, mother."

     "And have you washed your face thoroughly?"

     "Yes, mother."

     "And were you particular to wash behind your ears?"

     "On her side I did, mother."

COMMUNITY

     The young man at the summer resort, who had become engaged to the pretty girl, received information that led him to question her:

     "Is it true that since you came up here you've got engaged to 'Billy, Ed, George and Harry, as  well as me?"

     The young lady assumed an air of disdain.

     "What is that to you?" she demanded.

     Just this," he replied gently.  "If it's so, and you have no objections, we fellows will all chip in together to buy an engagement ring."

COMPLIMENTS

     "Would you like a lock of my hair?" asked the gallant old bachelor of the spinster who had been a belle a few decades past.

     "Why don't you offer me the whole wig?" the maiden lady   gibed, with a titter.

     The bachelor retorted with icy disdain:

     "You are very biting, madam, considering that your teeth are porcelain."

     The young man, dancing with the girl to whom he had just been introduced, remarked with the best of intentions, but rather unfortunately:

     "That's the new waltz.  My sister was raving about it.  I think it's pretty bad.  I expect she danced it with somebody rather nice."

     In former  times, when royalties were more important, a lady at a court ball was intensely gratified when a prince selected her as a partner.  She was almost overwhelmed with pride when he danced a second measure with her.

     "Oh," she gushed, as she reposed blissfully in his arms, "your highness does me too great honor."

     The prince answered coldly:

     "But no, madam.  Merely, my physician has directed me to perspire."