| CATS
Clarence, aged eight,
was a member of the
Band of Mercy, of his
Sunday School, which
was a miniature
society for the
prevention of cruelty
to animals. The
badge was a small
star, and Clarence
wore this with as much
pride as ever a
policeman had in his
shield. He
displayed eagerness in
the work, and grew
somewhat unpopular
with the other boys
and girls by reason of
his many rebukes for
their harsh treatment
of animals. But
one morning his
mother, on looking out
of the window,
observed to her horror
that the erstwhile
virtuous Clarence had
the family cat by the
tail, and was swinging
it to and fro with
every evidence of
glee. In fact,
it had been the
wailing of the
outraged beast that
had caused the mother
to look out.
"Why,
Clarence!" she
cried, aghast.
"What are you
doing to that poor
cat? And you, a
member of the Band of
Mercy!"
Little Clarance
released the cat, but
he showed no shame as
he explained:
"I was -- but I
lost my star."
*
* *
The teacher put a
question to the class:
"What does a cat
have that no other
animal has?"
A number cried in
unison:
"Fur!"
But an objector raised
the point that bears and
skunks have fur.
One pupil raised an
eager hand:
"I know, teacher,
-- whiskers!"
But another objector
laughed
scornfully.
"Haw-haw ! My
papa has whiskers!"
The suggester of
whiskers defended her
idea by declaring:
"My papa ain't got
whiskers."
" 'Cause he
can't!" the
objector sneered.
"Haw-haw !
Your pa ain't no
good. My pa says
---"
The teacher rapped for
order, and repeated her
question. A little
girl raised her hand,
and at the teacher's nod
spoke timidly.
"Kittens!"
*
* *
The little girl returned
from church deeply musing
on the sermon, in which
the preacher had
declared that animals,
lacking souls, could not
go to heaven. As the
result of her
meditation, she
presented a problem to
the family at the dinner
table, when she asked
earnestly:
"If cats don't go
to heaven, where do the
angels get the strings
for their
harps?"
CHARITY
"Oh, mamma,"
questioned the child,
"who's
that?" He
pointed to a nun who was
passing.
"A Sister of
Charity," was the
answer.
"Which one,"
the boy persisted,
"Faith or
Hope?"
CHRISTIANITY
A shipwrecked traveler
was washed up on a small
island. He was
terrified at thought of
cannibals, and explored
with the utmost
stealth.
Discovering a thin wisp
of smoke above the
scrub, he crawled toward
it fearfully, in
apprehension that it
might be from the
campfire of
savages. But as he
came close, a voice rang
out sharply:
"Why in hell did
you play that
card?" The
castaway, already on his
knees, raised his hands
in devout thanksgiving.
"Thank God!"
he exclaimed
brokenly.
"They are
Christians!"
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