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BLESSING
The philosopher, on
being interrupted in his
thoughts by the violent
cackling of a hen that
had just laid an egg,
was led to express his
appreciation of a kind
Providence by which a
fish while laying a
million eggs to a hen's
one, does so in a
perfectly quiet and
ladylike manner. BLIND
A shopkeeper with no
conscience put by his
door a box with a slit
in the cover and a label
reading, "For the
Blind." A
month later, the box
disappeared. When
some one inquired
concerning it, the
shopkeeper chuckled, and
pointed to the window.
"I collected
enough," he
explained.
"There's the new
blind." BLINDNESS
The sympathetic and
inquisitive old lady at
the seashore was
delighted and thrilled
by an old sailor's
narrative of how he was
washed overboard during
a gale and was only
rescued after having
sunk for the third time.
"And, of
course," she
commented brightly,
"after you sank the
third time, your whole
past life passed before
your eyes."
"I presoom as how
it did, mum," the
sailor agreed.
"But bein' as I had
my eyes shut, I missed
it." BLOCKHEAD
The recruit complained
to the sergeant that
he'd got a splinter in
his finger.
"Ye should have
more sinse," was
the harsh comment,
"than to scratch
your head." BONE
OF CONTENTION
The crowd in the car was
packed suffocatingly
close. The timid
passenger thought of
pickpockets, and thrust
his hand into his pocket
protectingly. He
was startled to
encounter the fist of a
fat fellow-passenger.
"I caught you that
time!" the fat man
hissed.
"Thief
yourself!" snorted
the timid
passenger. "Leggo!"
"Scoundrel!"
shouted the fat man.
"Help! Stop
thief!" the little
fellow spluttered,
trying to wrench his
hand from the other's
clasp. As the
car halted, the
tall man next the two
disputants spoke
sharply:
"I want to get off
here, if you dubs will
be good enough to take
your hands out of my
pocket." *
* *
During the Civil War, an
old negro was deeply
interested in conflict,
but showed no sign of
wishing to take part in
it. A white man
questioned him one day:
"The men of the
North and South are
killing one another on
your account. Why
don't you pitch in and
fight yourself?"
"Has you-all ever
seen two dogs fightin'
over a bone?" the
negro demanded.
"Many times, of
course," was the
answer.
The old negro chuckled
as he said:
"Did you ever see
de bone fight?"
"Well ! --
no!"
"Dat's all!
I'se de bone." |
