On the way to the baptism, the baby somehow loosened the stopper of his bottle, with the result that the milk made a frightful mess over the christening robe.  The mother was greatly shamed, but she was compelled to hand over the child in its mussed garments to the clergyman at the front.

     "What name?" the clergyman whispered.

     The agitated mother failed to understand, and thought that he complained of the baby's condition.  So seh offered explanation in the words:

     "Nozzle come off -- nozzle come off!"

     The clergyman gave it up, and continued the rite:

     "Nozzlecomeoff Smithers, I baptize thee in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.

BASEBALL

     The teacher directed the class to write a brief account of a baseball game.  All the pupils were busy during the allotted time, except one little boy, who sat motionless, and wrote never a word.  The teacher gave him an additional five minutes, calling them off one by one.  The fifth minute had almost elapsed when the youngster awoke to life, and scrawled a sentence.  It ran thus:

     "Rain --no game."

BATTLE

Teacher:  "In which of his battles was King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden slain?"

Pupil:  "I'm pretty sure it was the last one."