The visiting Englishman, with an eyeglass screwed to his eye, stared in fascinated horror at the ugliest infant he had ever seen, which was in its mother's arms opposite him in the street car.  At last, his fixed gaze attracted the mother's attention, then excited her indignation.

     "Rubber!" she piped wrathfully.

     "Thank God!" exclaimed the Englishman.  "I fancied it might be real."

*  *  *

     The teacher had explained to the class that the Indian women are called squaws.  Then she asked what name was given to the children?

     "Porpoises," came one eager answer.

     But a little girl whose father bred pigeons, called excitedly:

     "Please, teacher, they're squabs!"

BALDNESS

     A patient complained to the doctor that his hair was coming out.

     "Won't you give me something to keep it in?" he begged.

     "Take this," the doctor said kindly, and he handed the patient a pill box.